


Come and paint my life

by Void (EroEmo)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Getting to Know Each Other, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 14:25:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13615254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EroEmo/pseuds/Void
Summary: Nobody is sure why soulmates exist in the first place but they are, certainly, something unique. Very little people are born without a soulmate to match and so Armitage Hux hopes he's one of them. At the same time, in another part of the galaxy, Ben Solo wonders why the sea is grey.A soulmate!AU where one can't see a certain color up until the moment they meet their soulmate, their eyes being the exact same, previously "dulled out", color.





	Come and paint my life

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to [try_reset](http://archiveofourown.org/users/technorat/pseuds/try_reset) for beta reading!! He's an amazing friend, go check out his fics!

When he was small, his mother used to take him to the sea. It wasn’t too often, though. She was busy with politics and Han, or maybe rather trying to get things sorted out with or without him. Either way, when the time allowed, she would take him to the sea.

They would sit by the water, breeze kissing their cheeks and gentle waves lapping at their feet. He used to storm straight into the water, diving and letting it in, only to be bursting out and gasping for air a moment after. The older he got, though, the less he was prone to do that anymore.

Leia didn’t have just as much time, with more things going on in Senate, and so she had less occasions to take him somewhere else, outside their place. Unless it was raining, then they would go. Even if it wasn’t particularly warm. Just for the sake of spending some time together. In another, more peaceful place.

That’s when it occurred to him that the water changes its color. Not only it, the sky was changing as well. Cloudy, spelling shift of the weather. A storm, maybe. Waves rising up and all that.

“Why is sky and water suddenly gray?” He used to ask, sitting comfortably by his mother’s side.

“It is not,” she would answer, gently stroking his hair. “It just appears this way because of the light. It’s still same greenish blue, Ben.”

He used to believe her, back then. That it was because of the light and the way human eyes were built.

But as he grew older, the matter appeared to be much more complicated than anyone had previously expected.

 

* * *

 

Ever since he was a little boy, one thing was obviously clear: love is a weakness. Brendol Hux did not approved of such stupid things as feelings. They weaken the morale, he used to say. Make person fragile and easy to break. To manipulate.

Armitage had learnt that at the very young age. And so, he silently hoped that he was one of those few lucky individuals who were spared the inconvenience of having a soulmate. The concept itself was intriguing, yes. Not being able to see a specific color until you meet each other. 

The rest of it, however, was much less to his liking. Having a soulmate meant feelings. Feelings meant investment, probably love or, at the very least, commitment. That spelled trouble.

Living under one roof with Brendol Hux had taught him that much.

And so when he went to the Academy, he hoped he was lucky. So far he didn’t have a mismatch between what he saw and what others were seeing. Everything seemed to be fine.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The very first day, when people were passing by, he noticed something. People were calling some wooden objects by various adjectives meaning brown, meanwhile all he saw was plain blackness.

Deep and solid black, with no warm highlights to make it less dark, less scary. And it was scary for him. It meant that either everyone was making fun of him or that somewhere out there was  _ someone  _ just for him.

It shouldn’t have happened. He was supposed to be self-sufficient, strong. Meanwhile he was here, in his bed at Academy, realizing with certainty how painfully  _ weak  _ he was. How much he  _ lacked  _ in the matter of becoming perfect. His ideal self.

All of this was unsettling. But, what scared Armitage more, it appeared a tiny little bit exciting, too.

 

* * *

 

“Uncle Luke?” he asks as he approaches the sitting man. “May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead, Ben,” Luke says and gestures at the place by him.

It’s a beautiful day, sun shining brightly and some of Jedi apprentices training outside. Making use of fresh air and the warmth.

“What does ‘soulmate’ even mean?”

Skywalker looks up at him, as if wondering what Ben is thinking about. Not that he can’t actually use Force and check it.

“Funny thing is that even the oldest Jedi didn’t know that and so don’t I,” he replies with a shrug, smiling at him. “Though I can tell you what  _ I know.  _ You care to listen?”

Ben nods, all ears.

“Force is everywhere, all around us,” he starts, his gaze wandering off. Looking further. “People, just like everything else, need balance in their lives. The vast majority can’t balance themselves, or so the old master hypothesized, and that’s why soulmates were born.”

“They are a counterbalance?”

“Yes and no. You see, a soulmate is someone who is able to take the best out of you, who can help you understand yourself. Your soulmate can be a person you despise with all fibres of your being and yet, without them, your life would be much less vivid,” Luke once again looks at him, somewhat grinning. “Quite literally since you can’t see all the colors until the two of you meet.”

Ben snorts, shaking his head.

“There are people without a soulmate to match but I wouldn’t say they’re common.”

“You are like that, though?” He can’t quite hide his excitement and curiosity, the young mind of his craving more information.

Luke rolls his eyes, sighing.

“Yes, I’m a special one in the matter. Do you want to know something else? For example, the size of my shoe?”

Both of them end up laughing and grinning afterwards, their expressions matching the weather. All bright and light.

“What is the color you cannot see, Ben?”

He looks up at his uncle, his expression still warm but much more worried. Like of the teacher he is, wondering about his apprentice’s lot.

“It’s hard to explain,” he starts, peeking out of the window, his probably to-be friends calling it a day and lying about in the shadow of the vast tree. “I’ve thought I see every one of them but sometimes… When storm is coming or when the water is murky… I feel like I’m missing something in it, as if I’m not seeing everything.”

Luke hums, standing up and heading outside. Probably to cut that lazy time of other apprentices off.

“You have quite a challenge, Ben. It’s a unique color, probably one of those which are hard to find, too.”

“What will happen if I don’t find that person?” He asks, walking by his uncle’s side.

“Nothing,” he answers. “You just won’t achieve your full potential in life. And see that greyish blue, that is.” Suddenly he turns, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder. Reassuringly squeezing it. “But I bet you can make it.”

Luke smiles and whether he wants or not, Ben smiles too.

 

* * *

 

Hux is thankful for being a quick learner each single day. If not for that, he would long time ago be either thrown out of the Academy, killed or, what’s utterly the worst of all, scolded and lectured at by Brendol.

He really doesn’t need something so awful in his already difficult life. Not that it is complicated itself but functioning can be troublesome at times. Especially when he’s required to use color names. It is not something that appears frequently but when it does, he’s always anxious. Even when he is  _ sure  _ he’s using the appropriate term, there is still this little  _ sting  _ of doubt.

No one knows he can’t see that one shade of brown and no one ever will. That’s what he says to himself as he falls asleep, dreaming about shooting down the person who invented selective color blindness and soulmates in general.

He does  _ not  _ need something as dumb as a soulmate. And if someone or something thinks otherwise then that is their problem, not his.

He’s going to live his life as he pleases, without another human being his burden.

At least that’s what he tells himself everyday, ignoring that small part of his mind idly wondering about the person he is connected to. About eyes so dark that they’re almost pitch black, a glimpse of light enough to bring that inner flare out.

Yes, he’s pushing that particular part of his consciousness as far as possible, not wanting it to interfere with, well, anything. It won’t bring him any good, right? 

 

* * *

 

Kylo sighs as he puts the helmet on, something comforting in knowing nobody will see his face. He isn’t ashamed of it but it doesn’t necessarily help with making others respect him. Fear him. Maybe with time, they will learn to do that but for now his helmet is a blessing.

He heads to the Snoke’s throne room, no one in sight on his way there. Just as if everyone instinctively knows it’s better to choose other passages. Good. He doesn’t wish to be looked at as if some kind of mismatching puzzle piece.

And he does look like one. With his black long robes and an impassive helmet, a lightsaber by his belt. He knows he stands out in this place, all of the crew wearing neat uniforms, holopads in their hands. Not to mention the white mass of stormtroopers who surprisingly easily blend in. Just as if they don’t exist at all.

He enters the room just on time, Snoke gesturing at him to come closer. To him and an unknown ginger man in the uniform.

“Here he is, General,” Snoke says, a twisted smile on his lips. “My apprentice, Kylo Ren.”

He earns just as much as a quick look from General, his slender face just as emotionless as Kylo’s helmet.

“I have talked to both of you before about this but from now on it is official. You are both in charge of the First Order, though you will take slightly different approaches, I assume.”

General looks young, Ren thinks. He’s barely older than he himself. Their previous holo-conversations didn’t do either of them justice in terms of their appearance.

They are almost the same height, too. That’s kind of impressive since he didn’t have a chance to meet many tall people. Not as tall as him, that is.

“Both of you are crucial to the creation of Starkiller base and to destroying that pitiful remnants of the Republic. I believe you will do what is necessary. Do not fail me.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he and General say in unison.

“General, I hope you will show my apprentice around the Finalizer.”

“Of course,” he answers sharply, his posture nothing but impeccable.

“Now, you can go.”

And with that they’re dismissed, Kylo letting the other man lead them to the exit and then through corridors. 

It’s not like they haven’t spoken before or that they are completely foreign to each other. Today is just, however, the first time they met in person. Snoke didn’t want to throw him in command unless he complete most of his training and somehow, he feels grateful for that. He’s not particularly fond of military structure and hierarchy, dealing with lower ranks on a daily basis even less so.

The ginger man remains quiet and composed through all of their journey to the Finalizer, someone already waiting for them on the ship.

“General Hux,” the man salutes, warily eyeing Kylo. He can sense man’s anxiety. “Lord Ren.”

“Ah, Lieutenant Rivas,” the General answers, already heading to the passage. Not really bothering about the either of men, assuming they will follow.

That already spells some problems, Kylo thinks. He does not like being treated like this. Especially not by some military, Force-insensitive officer.

Hux chats about some minor issues with the lieutenant, completely ignoring Ren’s presence. Even though he is the one who is in step with him, the other man barely keeping up with that quick pace.

Soon enough the lower rank man disappears into the side passage, leaving him and Hux alone. As alone as they can be in the packed ship.

“We are about to enter the mess, then proceed to the bridge and from there to the other parts of the ship. I hope you don’t mind the pacing,” General says, not stopping or slowing down for a second. “I’m quite busy.”

Ren smiles bitterly beneath the helmet, his hands itching.

“No, of course not.”

 

* * *

  
  


As much as he wants to respect Supreme Leader’s decisions, this one is by far the most useless and  _ insulting  _ one. All of the crew worked hard to get where they are now.  _ He  _ worked hard to get to this position. Meanwhile, someone in robes comes in and is instantly put in charge. As a  _ co-commander  _ of the First Order, of all things. 

Hux basically storms through the whole ship with Kylo Ren, hoping to get this necessity done quickly and without much trouble. The Finalizer is not that big so remembering all the passages shouldn’t be difficult for their new acquaintance. If it is, then it only proves further what Hux already knows - that putting Ren in charge is a mistake.

He leaves him by his quarters, heading to the bridge himself. There is lots of work that needs to be done and he cannot leave it unsupervised.

When he arrives at the bridge, he’s greeted with salutes and handful of datapads, some of them being requests needing approval and some being simple reports. The steady flow of work is soothing, easing his previous annoyance. This is predictable, known. Easy to handle. The new colleague, he is not.

After checking all given documents, he’s heading to the consoles, wanting to ask about the work. The progress they’re surely making.

That’s when he notices that something is  _ different. _

One of the lieutenants, she’s told to have dark complexion. Hux was never able to confirm it, that awful selective color-blindness of his aggravating everything on a daily basis.

Now he  _ sees  _ it. That rich brown, only known from oral descriptions and some books.

He can feel cold sweat gathering on his neck.

_ No. No way. _

“General, sir? Is everything alright?” The said lieutenant asks him, turning around on her sit.

“Yes,” he replies without faltering. “Keep up with your search.”

“Yes, sir.”

He takes a few steps back, distancing himself from everyone. Who is it? Where are they? When did they meet? So many questions are running through his head, making him dizzy. It’s unacceptable.

Chances for him and his soulmate to meet, taking his occupation into account, seemed so  _ so  _ low. Somehow he accepted, or maybe rather learnt to tolerate, that weakness of his. He has learnt what is considered the color he couldn’t see. He has acquired enough knowledge to live by, not paying much mind to that particular shade of brown.

And yet here he is, his hands  _ shaking  _ because apparently, he has met his soulmate. In the middle of nowhere, in a cold void of space in a forgotten part of the galaxy. Of all of the places.

Even though his posture and face remain unbothered, his insides are boiling. Is that someone from the crew? For sure no one from the regular staff, they’ve been on the Finalizer long enough; Hux would have noticed the sudden change in his perception if that was somebody from his people.

Maybe it is one of the new recruits? A few officers have arrived about two cycles ago with bunch of stormtroopers. He went to see them with Phasma; though wouldn’t he notice it earlier? He couldn’t be  _ that  _ preoccupied with going on the Supremacy… Or maybe he was?

Hux closes his eyes and exhales, slowly. Steadily. He doesn’t feel like thinking of another, dreading possibility.

That it could be someone from Supreme Leader’s ship. Some low rank officer, one of the many who he has passed through on his way to the throne room.

He prefers to focus on here and now, he decides. Checking a handful of new staff seems like an easy task, so he’s about to start with it.

As he leaves the bridge, Hux wonders why he’s so agitated with such a trivial thing. It shouldn’t be affecting him as much as it is now. He should remain unbothered, continue with his daily routine.

And yet, that very part of his mind that he pushed aside so long ago is now awake, radiating with excitement. Almost a childlike curiosity.

 

* * *

 

Kylo would really like to let some of the steam off, though he’s perfectly aware he can’t. Not now, at least. So he refrains, putting his helmet aside where most of his belonging lays. He decides on meditation. It helps, sometimes.

His breathes are deepening, steadying up. He doesn’t try to focus on something concrete, a particular object or a place. He lets his mind wander wherever Force wants to take it.

Firstly, he sees Snoke’s ship, the Supremacy, its corridors and hangars, all well known to him. Then his mind travels much further, the remnants of the old Jedi Temple, a place he destroyed and left behind, in front of him. He’s not fond of this place, though it is an important one on his path. It is here that he cut himself from the light side for good.

He doesn’t stop there, something pulling him even further away from the Finalizer. Kylo does not oppose, his consciousness going so far away he can no longer tell where he is. When he finally reaches the assumed destination, he’s surprised.

It’s the seashore, the very same Leia used to take him on when he was a young boy.

Ren isn’t sure why he’s here. He’s supposed to leave the past behind. To start anew. Why is he being led straight into places like this? From the earliest possible memories?

He looks at the horizon in front of him, cloudy sky above making murky water appear dull and grey…

Wait.

The water seems a bit dissimilar this time. He remembers it differently. It was always this unremarkable shade of grey, there never was this blue hue to it. He has never imagined there  _ could be _ such an undertone to it.

It looks prettier like this, he admits.

But then he dreads, a wave of emotions throwing him off and causing a sudden come back to the present place, to his new quarters on the Finalizer.

Kylo can feel how shaky his breath is now, how far from being calm he is. He reaches for his pad, frantically browsing through the holonet, looking for a proof. For pictures of a clouded sky and dark sea. To make sure he’s not imagining things.

There he sees it, all clear and vivid. Some more, some less grey but altogether with that specific tint of blue. A color he wasn’t able to see, up to this day.

_ He has met his soulmate.  _

Just as the door slides open, he storms out of his room, pad being thrown away in the bed’s direction. There is no time to waste, Ren thinks. Somebody on the Finalizer is his soulmate. No doubt about that.

That’s why he was guided to the place from his childhood, he realizes. To make him aware of what has happened today. Of how important this day actually is.

He didn’t pay much attention to people who were passing him by today and now he regrets that. There is no other option left than to check every single person on the ship, starting from the lower ranks. Kylo doubts he’s matched with one of the stormtroopers, his intuition guiding him elsewhere. 

People in uniforms, it seems.

 

* * *

 

It took him more time than he expected, Hux thinks as he enters the empty mess. It’s this part of the cycle when nobody is around here and he uses it to his advantages. That is, he’s grateful for being able to sit and think, undisturbed.

He has already checked four of the newcomers, fifth being sent somewhere as an assist for Phasma. To speak the truth, he has little faith in that one; there is little possibility for him to be his supposed soulmate. 

He plumps down and sighs, his back comfortably supported by the wall behind. That’s not how he has imagined these upcoming cycles to go. For now, they’re going quite the opposite, really.

Firstly, he’s called on the Supremacy to meet that new  _ co-commander  _ of  _ his  _ army. Then he’s supposed to show him around instead of getting back to work right away. And now this - the irksome search for an unknown individual just because he can’t ignore that one part of himself anymore. That stupid, child-like side which should have died long time ago, even before his leave from Arkanis with the father, Rae Sloane and bunch of kids.

Everything seems to point at one conclusion: his soulmate is somebody from the Supremacy. He can’t just go there and say that he’s looking for the person with brown eyes. It would be suspicious and pretty much giving him away, giving away the secret he’s been keeping since he knew how to speak.

His train of thoughts is interrupted by the sudden shift of the mood, or maybe rather by an entrance of the human hurricane in black robes. Kylo Ren quickly looks around and then he, too, heavily sits down on one of the benches.

Something must have happened because he isn’t wearing his helmet and Hux doubts he managed to lose it; he had to forgot to put it on.

“A rough day?” Hux speaks up, waspishly.

Ren  _ snarls  _ at him, clearly not in the mood for talking, his gaze focused on the wall in front of him.

General sneers at that. Finally a highlight of sorts to make this day less horrible, he thinks as he stands up.

“Did someone make your hackles raise, Lord Ren?” His voice nothing but sugar-coated and polite, hidden tinge of mockery easy to catch. He isn’t stupid, he knows when to back off. Now is not the moment, not yet.

“General,” Kylo growls, his hand clenching and unclenching on the thick black fabric of his robes. “I thought you said you are busy? Is that what you do? Sit in the empty mess and loaf?”

He smirks, his own hand now itching.

“A little break never killed nobody,” he replies, making a few steps more in Ren’s direction. “Worry not, Ren. I do much more than you.”

And with that something snaps, the other man standing up and approaching him within seconds. Hux is not easily intimidated, and so that he’s standing still, back straight and unreadable expression on his features.

Even as Ren’s unmasked face is just inches away from his own.

It’s actually funny, how  _ childish  _ and yet mature his face is. Still so young, dotted with birthmarks. A dark mess of a hair blocking out some of the vision, hiding away his eyes. Eyes…

  
  


...in a very remarkable color of the murky sea on the cloudy day.

After running around the Finalizer and checking all encountered officers and lieutenants, looking them in the eyes for the brief second only to continue on running again, after all of this he feels upset. Angry, even.

He knows there are still dozens of people he didn’t see and yet, such an unsuccessful hunt lowers his morale. His mood and motivation dropped drastically and since there isn’t anything left for now, he enters the mess to gather his thoughts.

To calm down and rethink the whole situation.

He didn’t expect to see General here. Much less to find his soulmate in him.

“It’s you,” he says softly, his voice so quiet it’s almost impossible to hear.

He feels six again, sitting by his mom on the shore. Waves of salty water gently lapping on their feet. Bringing rhythm and feeling of stability.

“What did you just say?” Hux replies equally quietly, his lips barely moving. His gaze is locked at his face, his…

  
  


...deep brown eyes. The very same shade he wasn’t able to see all those years. The very same color he had to pretend to see all his life so to avoid embarrassment. That dark, almost black, shade of brown. Barely illuminated by the exterior light, only small dots highlighted enough to resemble pure amber.

“All this time,” Ren says, this time a bit louder and more firmly. “I was looking for you.”

Could it be that both of them has spent today on looking for each other? How ridiculous it is? How much more hilarious the whole situation can get from now?

Hux sighs, a shadow of amusement creeping in. He even smiles against his will, half-arsed.

“Fortune surely has its fun, matching  _ us  _ together,” he says, blinking and breaking the eye contact. Taking a step back, as if threatening to leave the room.

Hux doesn’t intend to do so, he just needs some space between him and Ren.  _ His soulmate.  _

“And what now?” He says into the empty space of the mess, his voice slightly raised and exasperated. Could today get any worse for him?

Ren looks at him, turning his head to the side. Like a curious puppy.

“A soulmate is somebody who is supposed to take the best out of you, to help you understand yourself and bring a full potential out of you,” Kylo says, slowly approaching him. He doesn’t move away. “You don’t have to love them or even like them. You can hate them all you want, actually.”

Hux smirks at that. He knows Ren knows. They haven’t been on very good terms even before their formal introduction a few hours prior.

“So this is what it is? _A_ _protocooperation_?” He snaps helplessly, a term well fitting to their situation and yet so utterly disgusting to him.

“I could ask you the same,” Kylo remarks, offering a bitter half-smile.

At least on that they agree.

This situation, a whole of it, it spells troubles. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow. But at some point it’s going to turn on them, cause harm. Hux knows that, he can feel it.

And he knows Kylo thinks that, too.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending somewhat screams for a continuation of sorts but I'm gonna let it be. For now, at least.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> You can also find me (ee-void) on tumblr.


End file.
